Beautiful People Do Not just Happen!!

In life many a times we all do feel low… Sometimes it’s just the circumstances which make us feel this way and at times… the situations. But what matters is… how these situations and circumstances mould us as a person.

It was one of those days when everything seemed wrong to me. I questioned my self about why was all that happening to me… Did I do something wrong to anyone…then why me??… Relations seemed confusing… people became different… some were for real so stayed rest just changed their ways.

                              

One after the other days passed by… and I experienced - difference…

From being the chirpy little girl… I started staying quiet. Every time something or the other kept occupying my mind. Long back then I was a kid who used to bounce all over the place… but now even to talk to strangers made me uncomfortable…It was all too complex… The feeling that am changing was hard to believe.

In no span of time I realized I have changed… and have become a completely different person. Till here I didn't know was it for good or for bad…is this going to help me or make my situation even worse… Everything changed except the faith I had in myself and my schooling. It may sound a thought from an old school but the fact is they taught me to respect the other individual… respect emotions… understand the other person as an individual like you… The ones around me have success but not the humanity that I do.  I realized… this is what is missing in this world today but I have it in me. The thought in itself is so beautiful!!!

Before, I used question those situations and times but today I thank them. It was a testing phase which was really harsh and as well as complex. But what I learnt out of those difficult times was… a lot of patience …every time there is a more complex situation… more patient I became… I trusted myself…

It takes a lot time and patience to nurture that kind of beauty. The other beauty can be maintained through creams and lotions but the heart or the soul that one has makes all the difference. All the hard times and the experience out there is what make one beautiful! its difficult to find or have the heart which deep inside knows it all all, has seen it all but still doesn't know how to hurt any one but to forgive and keep going.

More than the destination it’s the journey that matters! After all beautiful people do no just happen…

Saamna

 Bohot dino ke baad… khushi se saamna hua…

Usse guftagu ka silsila jo shuru hua...

to din se raat ho gayi

Khushi ne kuch apni kahi…kuch meri suni…

Maine kaha… laga tha yun… ki hum ab phir na milenge…

Par kisey pata tha… ye duri zyaada samay tak na reh payegi…

Nana ki kahaniyon mein yaad hai mujhe

Tumhaara zikr aksar aaya karta tha…

Tab hum bachche the… nadaan the…

Khushi darasal undino aam hua karti thi…

Jaise jaise bade hue tab maloom pada…

Ye duniya bikau hai… par khushi nahi…

Uss raat maine or khushi ne ghanto tak baatein ki...

Baaton ka silsila jab aage bada

To phir dukh ka zikr aana bhi to lazmin tha...

Khushi ko apna samajh kar maine bataya…

Woh dinn bohot mushkil the bina uske

Door door tak umeed ka bhi namon nishan nahi tha…

Din tha jo raat ka intezaar karta tha

Aur raatein thin jo din jitni lambi lagne laga karti thi

Kaam mein khud ko kaafi mashroof rakha maine...

Par maine zindangi se bhi rishta banaye rakha

Issi ummeed mein ki khushi se phir mulakaat hogi...

Uss din... bohot dino baad khushi se saamna hua

Or guftagu ka silsila yunhi chalta gaya….

Chehra

thodi si khushyan...
thode sapne jeb mein...
thode se sikke...
kuch paise jeb mein...

kagaz ke chan tukde...bikhre huye...
samet kar phir tasveer mein badle hue...
kalam se nikli shyahi jitna gehra lamha...

rail ki patri ki tarhan badta aur ghatta hai...
andheri gufaon aur gehre ghaddon ki tarhan...
mujhe sab mein udasi se bhara chehra dikhta hai...

New day ... New Story...

It was the day I reached Mumbai... At the first glance I could only see just tall buildings, narrow roads, traffic jam and a foul but peculiar smell of the gutters. This was enough for me to realize that the shelter I always had above me is gone. The feeling was mixed - I was excited but scared, energetic but low, I came along with known people yet the feeling was strange.

From the station we all got in rickshaw (to my surprise what we call auto's in delhi here they call it rickshaw). In few seconds we were right in front of a 15 floor building and was introduced to a big apartment in the same society. I never knew things would turn out for me this way. I always thought to be here but like this was not my plans. But the true story was that I was here in Mumbai, not for vacations but for work.

I hardly knew anyone here and the ones I knew told me long back that no relation works in Mumbai. 'If I am there I have to be on my own.' I learnt this lesson by heart. I was new in the city and little hesitant to look out for new places, to meet new people and explore the city on my own.

I tried and managed to stay here.. meet new people..some were supportive but some were strange. Some understood me but to understand some..I failed. I found this city wierd in many ways. I thought that relations doesn't exist here but a few proved me wrong..though I should not jump on the conclusions right now :P I spent an entire day with my sis over here and almost saw the entire city. The day she left.. there was a new start for me. It was completely different experience ...'meeting her in Delhi was different from meeting her in Mumbai'... :)

I struggled hard to adjust myself.I tried travelling through local trains.. went out in the monsoons.. met new people.. made new relations.. walked on new ways... made new place for myself.. It was almost like started up all again..Whatever I did and made in Delhi was left there...here it was a new beginning!!All this was different from doing theater in Delhi..there you perform and people look get to know you here I had to perform individually...

I almost worked day and night to sustain myself .. Initially I found it insane but slowly started enjoying this pressure.. I understood this city behaves like it's weather.. everything is so unpredictable.. and in extreme..Still I always look forward to my tomorrow's..instead of counting on problems I have started looking out for solutions.. :)

Silence Speaks !!

While sitting on the terrace and thinking for a while, i heard my silence and the sound of the sky. The floor was empty, breeze all around. Birds were in, but their feathers I found.

I took up my diary and wrote for a while. I was surprised to see the words I found. Nothing was new and nothing was strange. It was an old practice which was misplaced. I never knew I was so loud. It was then i knew, even my silence has a sound.

I am Me !!!

Am standing there all alone, facing the world while getting old.
There are people staring at me ,and here i am sharing my dream.
They know me through the actor i portray, but they don't know what I have to say.
What I perform is a part of me but what you see is Just what you want to see.
What makes sense to me is nonsense for you, but unfortunately it is true.
People dream but i dare to live my dream that is why I am 'Me' !!

A Part Of Me

Being a girl people expect you to do things in a certain way. Similar to what we see all around..girls have to be beautiful, long hair, fair complexion,you should know how to cook, polite, well educated to socialise in huge gatherings and many more.All this is expected of you if you are a girl and coming from a middle class family.


I am a simple girl but theres a rebel in me too. Recently during my last semester when college was almost to an end. I realised I have nothing to do or apply my brain on. No college, no lectures, no discussions, and no internship!!

During this time people expected me to start working, getting placed and being happily sacrificed at a job i never wanted myself to be in. They expect you to be at home if you are not working. They expect you to walk, talk and even behave in a particular way as you are grown up now.Though i am blessed with a family who understands me, a sis who behaves like a friend and a mentor at the same time. But still there are a few who like you to behave in a particular manner.

It was that period of time which made me realise I am not one of the lot who go with the flow and act like a dead fish. But like any individual even i have my own journey, experience and end. Then why others want me to behave in a way that is right just according to them. After thinking for a while I came to a point and left my place without informing anyone.

I had nice looking hair but i decided to get them cut short. Everyone got surprised to see my hair do.I am already short and in addition to it, my hair cut made me look much more younger like a kid. I had no answer to their question- why i got them cut.Some said its looking good. I just loved the expression i saw on the faces who didn'nt like my cut.I had no answer for them but it was just my simple way to show my rebellious nature to those who don't understand and to say no to accept the way others want me to be.

The moment I got my hair cut I hd peace of mind and felt relief that its my life and only I have a right to decide for it. It was the placement time and people expect you to look mature and beautiful when you enter this industry. But beauty lies within you and my talent and capabilities can't stop me from doing what I am made for or excel in. Others just understand job packages and presentation but I prefer job satisfaction and my work is my presentation. Sooner or later I will achieve what I want to but no word like compromise should stop me from moving forward.